God Makes Hosea Buy an Adulteress Wife to Prove a Point

Hosea 1:1

Hosea is another prophet who lived during the time of the last kings of Judah.

Hosea’s Wife and Children- Hey Hosea, it’s me, God. Go marry an adulterous wife, who will give you awful, faithless children. There’s a good reason, I promise. Well, an OK reason. Spoiler alert, it’s because you guys (Israelites) are awful, and I don’t want to be your God right now, but I will in the future. (Hosea did as he was asked and ended up with three kids).

Israel Punished and Restored- This is just another passage associating Israel with an awful, adulterous woman. God intends to ruin and lay bare the woman, but then later, after her punishment, God will marry her. And Israel will call God “my husband.” Weird, right?

Hosea’s Reconciliation with His Wife- At some point, Hosea’s wife either cheats or becomes a prostitute or both. God tells Hosea to get his wife back and make sweet love to her. So, Hosea buys his wife back and does as asked.

4:1

The Charge Against Israel- Israel is a nasty, stinky prostitute. The people murder, they lie, they steal and they cheat. In God’s words, “Because you rejected my knowledge, I also reject you” 4:6. A lot of blame is put on women who prostitute themselves (possibly still an allegory to the Israelites worshipping other gods).

Judgment Against Israel- Israel is a bunch of assholes. God will punish them harshly.

Israel Unrepentant- Just another listing of Israel’s many sins: adultery, bloodshed, thievery, idol worshipping.

8:1

Israel to Reap the Whirlwind- More about how pissed God is about the Israelites worshipping foreign gods and idols.

Punishment for Israel- We know this one already. Death. Destruction. Lots of it.

God’s Love for Israel- God loved Israel, a lot. He tried to care for them and make them happy, but Israel turned from Him. They depended on their armies and swords instead of their God. So God had to turn away from His people.

Israel’s Sin- God complains about how He saved Israel, only for them to be complete wankers. So God is going to punish them.

13:1

The Lord’s Anger Against Israel- Some old, same old. “They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their pregnant women ripped open.” Lovely.

Repentance to Bring Blessing- God talks about how He had to punish His people, because they’re assholes. But eventually, they will see the error of their ways and repent. Then God will love them again and give them everything they could possibly want.

The end. I know we’ve been over this stuff a few times, and maybe I’ve already stated this, but God does not learn. He has done the whole death, destruction, rebuild thing a few times to no avail. Oh, well…. Who am I to tell God how to parent?

Next up, Joel!

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One thought on “God Makes Hosea Buy an Adulteress Wife to Prove a Point

  1. I have never understood the logic of divine wrath. People worshipping a foreign god are really just worshipping the same god with a different name. Why do the authors of the Bible think that would irritate the god who is really just Himself? Also, does it bother anyone else that the authors of the Bible needed their deity to have the worst human traits? Petulance and jealousy? Vengeance? Really? So weird. I liked your post, though, Nichols448. I like your take on all of this. You’re clever.

    Like

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